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One thing you did right

There is one thing I can count on when I get on a call with my clients:

They underestimate what they have accomplished since we last spoke... every... single... time. 


Most of us tend to measure ourselves against external goal posts. Something along the lines of the following:


I am going to exercise three times in the coming week. 

I am going to put my phone down by 9 p.m. every night.

I am going to make one new work connection.


The beginning of the call goes something like this: 


"Sarah, this week was a total bust. I didn't do any of the things I said I wanted to do."


But after 10 or 15 minutes, I get the real scoop.


This person has been helping her sister move while social distancing, which has required many hours of toting and lifting, going up and down stairs, often carrying boxes that would preferably be carried by two people rather than one. She has also walked her dog every day, and she began researching cabins in the woods where she might be able to take her family for something resembling a vacation this summer. She put her phone down at 9 p.m. on three out of seven days this week to hang out with her partner (which is three more than she has done in recent memory). And she had a 45-minute conversation with her beloved boss from a job she left two years ago. The boss has moved up to a new position at a different company, and they are becoming more friends than colleagues. In spite of their deepening relationship, my client does not consider this to be a "new work connection" because the conversation was with someone she already knew. 


In this scenario, my client has accomplished every one of the things she set out to do, with far greater purpose and connection than if she had, for example: done three HIIT workouts, a perfect 7 out of 7 putting the phone down (while peering at it out of the corner of her eye all night), and a random cold-call on LinkedIn. But she doesn't consider what she did to be accomplishments becausethey didn't hurt. They weren't difficult or miserable. They were an organic, natural part of her life—not the result of some arbitrary time she set aside to "work on her goals." 


I adore these people. I love hearing their stories and am constantly amazed by their strength and beauty, butthey can't see itin themselves—until they take a step back to get some perspective.


On a daily basis, I see too much kickassery that is being ignored. Not everybody has time or money for private coaching, so I'm going to be reaching out on Mondays with a quick reminder to notice when and how you're on track—and offer ways to build more ofthat each week, 100% on your own terms, in your own unique way.


To start...


What is one thing you did last week (and you're likely to do again this week) to support your health, keep your balance, or move toward a goal?


Maybe it's big and dramatic, but more likely it's something that doesn't seem like that big a deal. If it doesn't seem like a big deal, that means it feels easy, in your wheelhouse. That's one behavioral support beam you can lean on without having to try very hard, and I would submit: that is a BIG DEAL.


Send me an email, find me on Instagram, share it with a friend, or just write it down somewhere for yourself. You'll need this info for next week. In the meantime, take a minute to notice how it feels when you do that one right thing.



My quarantine crew and I have been taking nightly after-dinner walks to clear our heads before we put little man to bed.


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SARAH HAYS COOMER

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