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Are all of your "bad" habits actually bad?

I don't have a long letter for you today, just a simple idea to consider:

What if all of your bad habits aren't so bad after all? What if purposefully choosing to keep one (or a few) of them could give you the relief and comfort you need to make a real change in another area that feels truly toxic?

One of the core messages of The Habit Trip is:

"Destructive habits aren't flaws. They're coping mechanisms built to fill a need."

My coaching clients frequently come into their first few sessions fixated on all the things they're doing wrong, but those patterns aren't all bad. They're hugely powerful sources of information. Comfort matters. Pleasure matters too. Discovering when "bad" habits show up and what you are getting out of them is a fascinating process—if you can do it without judging or beating yourself up. The guilt cycle is often more destructive than the habit itself. If you can step away from it, you'll have much more energy to make the changes you want.

So a few weeks ago, I started offering a free fill-in-the-blank download to new subscribers of this letter. It helps you explore which daily patterns are truly detrimental and which ones might be worth keeping—guilt-free. It also includes instructions for emailing me if you'd like to discuss what you figured out! I respond to every email personally.

Which "bad" habits help you keep your balance, and which ones are genuinely damaging?

CLICK HERE to sign up for Monday Messages and download Habits on Purpose!



I had a beautiful conversation this week with Marcus Whitney about The Habit Trip, writing books, creativity, and finding our center of gravity. Check out our conversation on video or audio! His book, Create and Orchestrate, is a great read for anyone with creative or entrepreneurial ambitions. Thanks for inviting me, Marcus!


PSA: The New York Times reported recently on How to Hug During a Pandemic. "'Affectionate touch is how our biological systems communicate to one another that we are safe, that we are loved, and that we are not alone'... Not only do we miss hugs, we need them.”

Bottom line? If you've been isolated and need to hug your nearest and dearest, wear a mask, move in quickly, and turn your faces in opposite directions. "The risk of a quick hug with precautions is very low but not zero, [so...] people should choose their hugs wisely."


If you know someone who could benefit from this Monday Message,

please share it with a friend. They can SIGN UP HERE to get their own

Habits on Purpose free download.

Past posts can be found HERE.

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